Kids and the Bible - Parenting

Students in both Jewish and Christian parochial schools were asked to write their responses to questions. This Kids and the Bible email is fun - pass it along. For more parenting fun, visit http://www.sisterwoman.com/groups/?id=280 on www.sisterwoman.com.

Kids and the Bible - Parenting

Students in both Jewish and Christian parochial schools were asked to write about the Bible. The following are some of the responses (bless their little hearts!):
OLD TESTAMENT HISTORY
In the first book of the Bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and, throughout history, they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Samson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went upon Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK.
Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still, and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.